If you have spent any time in a Christian Evangelical church over the past 10 years, you have probably heard the division on the ideas of what makes up a good worship song. The church I was in had very strong and passionate feelings about modern Christian music and the messages songs were being put out on Christian radio and were finding their way into various church’s Sunday setlists.
One of the songs that caused a giant uproar was “Reckless Love” by Bethel. In 2019, John Cooper of the Christian Rock band Skillet had this to say about the song:
“A lot of Christian people right now, artists are releasing stuff that when I read the lyrics, I’m like, ‘I’m amazed that people have a problem with Skillet lyrics’ when some of the songs that we sing in church today I don’t think are actually accurate. Not to be overly harsh but I am 100% sure that God’s love is absolutely not reckless in any sort of way. I can’t believe we sing it in church, but we do!”
His statements were repeated throughout churches across the country. In my little evangelical bubble I was in, this was a hot topic. I heard it said in many sermons that there were huge flaws in the Christian music and, “Why is every new song on the radio just people whining about how they can’t feel God?” In smaller settings of just staff or leadership, it was said, “What a bunch of faithless babies! This is why I hold our worship team to such high standards!” In other words, an environment was created that we were superior worshippers and truly understood the heart of God better than our surrounding churches.
I have not shied away from sharing my deconstruction journey with y’all. I have always felt that what I was experiencing was not unique to just me or just the church that I was stepping away from and that the more we talk about it, the better we can do as the “Big C Church.” Through this process, I have had to come to terms with things that I held as such strong convictions on being wrong and, in many cases, unfounded.
As we discussed in our latest episode, the funny thing about going through this process of healing is that things pop up (often times out of nowhere) and you are thrown face to face with yet another thing you need to reckon with. For me this past week, that thing was worship.
Our new church has been so amazingly patient with my healing and has done nothing but support me right where I’m at. I don’t feel pressure to hurry up and get over it. I feel free to go through the process at my own pace with God. Sometimes I wonder if they’re all just used to be getting emotional over seemingly random things and leave service in tears. This past week, that happened when they played the song “Reckless Love” and my process and emotions were triggered and thrown into the blender of reckoning, I stood there bawling my eyes out at the end of service.
Read these lyrics:
Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me
You have been so so kind to me
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the 99
And I couldn’t earn it
I don’t deserve it, still You give yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the 99
And I couldn’t earn it
I don’t deserve it, still You give yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the 99
I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it, still You give yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Cory Asbury
Reckless Love lyrics © Be Essential Songs, Bethel Music Publishing, Watershed Worship Publishing, Cory Asbury Publishing
To someone who has a superiority complex about their faith, these words seem blasphemous. How dare you call God reckless! How faithless do you have to be to call yourself God’s foe! Believe me, I bought into that line of thinking hook, line and sinker for years and have said the dame things!
But deconstructing changes your perspective. All of a sudden, as I was reading those words on the screen and taking them in one verse at a time, I was hit like a semi truck with the vulnerability and raw honesty of the lyrics.
No God isn’t reckless. But to the overall Evangelical establishment, His relentless and unconditional goodness, kindness and love for me is reckless. You see, once I started questioning and doubting certain things, I should have been casted out for my lack of faith. I was labeled a wonderer, a blasphemer, a woman chasing the world. To the church, I had walked away from my faith and I had dragged my poor family along with me.
But to God? I was the one he left the 99 for. He lit of all the shadows of toxicity and climbed the mountains of my own self-righteousness to come after me. He kicked down the walls I built to protect my heart from the spiritual abuse and he tore down the lies of patriarchal untruth to come after me. I chose to question. I chose to doubt. I chose to walk away, but He still chose to give me ALL of His love! He still chose me.
If you are in that place of shadows, mountains, walls and lies, He will recklessly love you too! Read those lyrics above again. His UNCONDITIONAL love is overwhelming and never-ending FOR YOU!
